Enmeshment.
I heard the word again after a long while, during a group recording on Surveillance. I used it during the discussion four more times, then we all had a laugh about it, because this was often my habit when things fascinated my ear. Over and over again I would repeat it.
That was a few days ago. Today, I heard the word again from Kira Ryberg, during a Threads of Fate episode. She discussed the Eighth house (8H) in a really refreshing way, with Aerin Fogel. While I’m intrigued by the 8H, it’s the one house where I don’t really feel I have a core opening thread. In Kimetsu No Yaiba, Tanjiro utilizes a fighting technique with his acute sense of smell. He’s able to sniff out opening threads from his opponents. These are essentially the exact spots he needs to hit or slice off, for a fatal result. I think up till now I’ve learned astrology similarly — utilizing the concept of an opening thread. There’s always a spot, or word, or scene that once I grasp, I understand the entirety of the scenario, or can understand the entirety of whatever archetype I’m grappling with. I’ve struggled with an opening thread for the 8th house. My understanding of it so far, has been mechanical, studied and largely theoretical. It puzzles me since I have my South Node smack dab in the first decan of a Taurus 8H .
The 8H fog somewhat cleared for me today. I’m yet to delineate with it in multiple charts, but I feel much closer to an understanding of the space the house occupies in my life’s experiences.
Many Mages say similar things about the 8H. Death, other people’s stuff, loss, occult, sex, a heavy dose of fear and emotional baggage. That’s the sum of most of it, although of course there are many more intricate details under these sums. A few weeks ago, I heard Vic Dicara say that the 8H wasn’t death, but rather, dying. His reasoning ,— and I’m paraphrasing here — was that death was signified by the 7H. He explained that true sunset happened at the edge of the 7H, which was where the Self/Sun actually disappeared below the horizon, and that its angularity also supported the significance of the event. It further holds polarity with the one other important thing that happens in life — being born (The Ascendant).
While this reasoning made sense to me, I considered how literally every other astrologer I have learned from has also attributed death and not just dying to the 8H. Usually, assignment differences are pretty easy for me to resolve, but this felt unclear. Although I understood what I had learned, my understanding was mechanical. I had no personal opening thread to the house. I did however know, that the 7H called into being the other. I guess your own death would still apply here since it takes you away from your others. Maybe this quality of overlap and enmeshment is an 8H feature? I’d have to compare it to the relationship it has with the 9H to make up my mind.
Anyway. One thing that rang true amongst the Mages, was that the significations of the houses were derived from divisions of spherical space. Meaning was ascertained by mapping this spherical space to the daylight – nighttime cycle. Time was assigned based on the diurnal movement of the sun as it traveled across the sky throughout the day. 12 hours visible, 12 hours invisible. Based on this, the 8H generally occurs within the two or so hours before Sunset. I guess based on your rising sign and the time you were born, the feeling of eighth house might be strongest at another time of the day.
I’ll experiment with different times and see how I feel and what I learn.
For my opening thread, I think I feel good about the word enmeshment. The nearing sunset feels like an enmeshment of day and night, a limbo… if you will. Yet not really, because loss is happening. It is true, that you’re losing the light of the day at this time. I guess one could feel differently about that depending on whether it was a good day or not, or whether they need daylight or not.
The night is accompanied by many things. Silence and calm. Coolness in the air. Judging by how the Eighth is almost universally agreed on as one of the most unpleasant spaces of the chart, the other things night brings are probably more pronounced for most people. I agree that the 8H does feel more ominous than the 7H, but I also know anxiety is often greater than the actual event. I know the night comes with secret activities, debauchery, things lurking and hiding. I know people kill more at night, and that things die more, at night.
The 8H is where we start losing the light of the day. At the same time, we still have light during it. It is decreasing, but it’s not pitch-black. As the period progresses we have less and less to lose, mainly because we have less. It’s no doubt a house of decrease. On the flip side, the increase in darkness makes me consider the polarities within increase and decrease and the enmeshment inherent in polarity. So this looks like that, and this could be this and that. I think these uncertainties and losses that we sense, make us afraid, and that reflecting on them doesn’t often feel good. I think we’re afraid of not feeling good.
My chart: Taurus 8H, ☋ in Taurus 8°
One of my favorite things to do is sleep. Recently, I did a seated silent meditation, and started to doze off. That doesn’t usually happen during my meditations. I didn’t fight it, I put my head on the pillow and stretched out to nap. Right before I dozed off, I felt really good. My eyes were closed, everything was dark, my sheets were fresh and the air was still and quiet. These were beautiful conditions, and everything was dark.
I’m optimistic. I think the 8H teaches me to confront my anxieties, and it does a really good job at it. My anxieties usually arrive enmeshed with their reasons. One thing I’m beginning to understand, is that I often merely think I have reasons to be anxious. In reality, I’ve gotten used to certain things carrying that spiky emotion. I bring it along, whether the situation calls for it or not.
The 8H shows me what or who I’m afraid to lose. When and how and in what way, am I anxious? I know that I’m afraid of losing consistency. From others, and from myself. I’m afraid of things and people aren’t stable. I’m afraid of a world where people choose fighting themselves, over the ease of authenticity. Funnily enough, I’m also afraid of things and people stay the same. I’m afraid that if I stay the same, then I’m not dynamic.
There are many more fears I have, many more that my 8H teaches me to notice. Often even before I am ready to believe that I am afraid. The silver lining though is that I am rapidly getting better at not worrying. Ironically, this also worries me. I wonder if I am straying too far into acceptance. I wonder if I’m within a self deception, if I’m closer to something that might have more in common with nihilism than peace.
All the same, it is true that I feel at peace. I think I’m supported by that South Node in Taurus. I am blessed all the more by Venus, as I was born at night, and it is my ascendant’s ruler. I don’t hate the exploration of emotional baggage either. I sometimes recognize that I’m stuck in my ways, but it also feels easy and natural so there’s often no igniting reason to change it. Even though I grow here, it really is slow. I’m understanding of Taurus’ presence in my 8H.
//unedited//