July 29th — ☾ Libra 5°

I’m writing this while thinking about the last time I was pleasured. I was made to feel so good, I yearn for it again. I’m daydreaming about it — the waves of sensations that spread out from my center, and the resulting curled toes — evidence that I like being touched where I was touched. at times they use a light tap, a gentle one, one that would make me scoot myself closer and closer, to have more contact. and then just before I get there the hand cups all of me, sliding up and down messily, the gentleness of before gone. when it’s almost too much, it disappears as well. and then there is something else in front of me. whatever pleasures me next, I never really know it. not knowing what’s coming next, pleases me so much. it’s the only time I can handle not knowing what comes next. their words and whispers clog my head through my burning ears. sometimes stern and with authority, sometimes pleading, begging. i’m a princess one minute, and a vixen the next. they’re always in charge, but always at my mercy. sometimes I’m doing so well, i’m perfect, but soon enough they have to teach me a lesson. I yearn for it all. the thick sensations, sharpened with pleasure, are why I move so much. I need to round out the edges, I can’t let desire overwhelm me. I control my submission. it turns me on. the nature of change, the dynamism of each moment keeps me present. fingers brushing my nipples then firmly grabbing my hair, smoothing up my body gently and ending it with a slap on my butt. a bite on my neck, and a nuzzle after. they hold my hands down firmly, pinning my entire body down, only to pepper me softly with kisses. the erratic nature makes me tense with pleasure, but willing. I don’t know what to expect, when it’ll be consistent. In this space I sometimes want to whine, or be rough and flip the tables on them. I even want to be cruel. but when the pressure finally drives me over the edge — as it always does, — all I finally say is thank you. I move my hips in circles for control, but ultimately it’s their hands that lead me up the mountain. between their legs I yield. I climb them however they want. I trust them here, they’ve shown me I can do anything they want. I see how they are when I take what I need, how I’m guided into a pleasure that pleases them too. I listen and nod and shake my head, attentive to all they ask, all they’d like of me. they strum while I create the instrument. but this melody, even though it soothes, it also intoxicates. I feel drunk and high under their hands and lips. I can’t ever have enough, no matter how much I climb. I climb. I climb. and cum. over and over again. I can’t ever have enough.